If my phone had been hacked: 10 headlines we could have seen

1. Birmingham man in "extra bottle of milk needed" drama.
2. Experts confirm that man, 41, still hasn't fixed his mother's cable TV connection.
3. Local woman "not sure" of husband's intended time of return home.
4. British Gas fail to make appointment for third time.
5. Man really needs to let his wife know where he is.
6. Garage hasn't fixed car's brakes. "They're meant to be like that," says spokesman.
7. Concerns grow over man's dinner ending up in the bin.
8. SparrowGate Day One: remains of bird to be removed from conservatory. Cat named as suspect.
9. Current wireless router "worse than junk," says frustrated woman.
10. Night at pub ends in tragedy as man banished to sofa overnight.