I used to love beige food. Still do, as a matter of fact. But avoiding it for the last two weeks has had a profound effect.
Just to be clear, when I say 'beige' I am being literal. I'm referring to the colour. Chicken nuggets, crisps, pastries, pies, you name it, I would eat it. In fact, all the stuff my doctor told me I had to pretty much stop consuming - it all occupied the beige end of the spectrum.
Our fridge used to look like the paint job in a Barrett's show home.
Over the last fortnight I've been eating a rainbow. Mainly, it has to be said, the green end, but certainly there's been a variety. I don't think I've ever had quite so much fresh fruit and veg. I even recognised some of it. The red lentil and sweet potato curry the other night was a particular high point, although I should probably apologise to anyone who was near me the following morning.
I don't suppose I need to paint you a picture.
The new regime has forced us to adopt some new practices. We now both get up in the morning at the same time so that we can have a proper breakfast and also to carry out the extra prep required for lunches, etc. It's quite civilised - we're able to talk to each other in the morning, which beforehand we tended not to do. Apparently that's what married couples do all over the place. Who knew?
As a result of all this colourful cuisine I've lost nine pounds in two weeks. Which is nice. I'm not yet at the point where it's noticeable to others, or in fact to me, but hopefully that will come in due course.
There are still some challenges. Last night we went to a party, which meant party food. There were acres of beigeness. It was spectacular. In the good old days I would have wandered from room to room, grazing on Doritos, stuffing pork pies into my gaping maw. Instead, I had a couple of cucumber sandwiches and munched on lettuce and tomatoes.
This is where you'd expect me to say how refreshing it was, not to fill myself with junk food. No. I won't say that, because it was bloody horrible.
But my war against beige food must go on.