Inside I am crying. Crying hot, bitter tears. Tears of envy, tears of loss.
I was not, as you'll have guessed, at the O2 Arena in London last night. I did not see the revelation. I have not experienced the miracle first-hand.
I mean, will you just look at this review? The writer's even coined a new word - 'heaviosity'. And look at how he's described 'Kashmir'. If that doesn't put shivers up the back of your neck, check for a pulse. You might in fact be clinically dead.
Or a Depeche Mode fan. Which, come to think of it, may not be all that different from being dead, but only with slightly worse clothing.
I'm well aware that bands reuniting and going back on tour has been very much the thing this year. I've even experienced one of them myself when I saw Genesis in July. It was great - but then again I had seen them live several times before.
I'll make you all a promise. This relatively sophisticated, jaded and boring old bugger will immediately, and without notice, take on the appearance and demeanour of an excited schoolboy. I may even hop from foot to foot. All that has to happen is for Led Zep to announce tour dates.
Stranger things have happened.