10 ideas for TV shows whose time has come

Note to BBC, ITV, Channel 4 commissioners. Channel 5 even. Roll your sleeves up guys, this is pure gold.

1. Geek in a Week - take your average, outgoing and happy teenager. Within the space of seven short days, introduce them to the joys of playing board games with 20-sided dice. Bonus points if they get interested in at least one computer language.

2. Pro-Celebrity Shoplifting - pitting ex-soap stars and former news anchors against the finest exponents of the five-finger discount. Like to see Vanessa Feltz spiriting a frozen turkey away from Asda under her blouse? You're in the right place, sunshine.

3. Challenge Hannukah - two teams help guide a jump-suited girl around Jerusalem in a helicopter, following clues to find hidden treasure. Or perhaps just a box of dates.

4. That's My Intervention - watch as the subject of the show realises that the dinner party she's been invited to is turning into a Life Changing Moment. Sometimes a pint of Amontillado Dry Sherry is a just a cry for help.

5. Come Recycle With Me - four strangers go to each other's houses to separate their various plastic types, rinse out tin cans and figure out whether an empty Bombay Sapphire gin bottle counts as clear or brown glass.

6. Big Cousin - 12 people who sort of know each other are thrown together in a house and asked to perform various tasks. "Didn't we meet at Sharon's wedding?" "You're Auntie Marion's youngest, aren't you?"

7. Nightbus* - live unedited CCTV feed of the West Midlands Travel number 50 bus from Colmore Row to Maypole in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Sleepy Goths, bevvied up girls on their way home from the hen-party. Streaked mascara dramas a-plenty.

8. When Pasta Goes Wrong - sometimes al dente just isn't enough.

9. World's Wildest Team Meetings - who would have thought that the discussion on regional performance indicators would end up like this? Minute this, baby!

10. Live Blogging - I'll just switch my web cam on for this one. The angle's hardly flattering, but who am I kidding?

I tell you, the offers are going to just flood in.



*(Scary thing is, I can see someone actually taking this one on and running with it).