A few months ago I might have let it slip that I'd put a collection of ramblings together for publishing, which was available at your favourite web-based retailer that is named after a South American river.
Did I mention it? I must have done. Even my mother knows, and the internet is a closed book to her. A Sodding Great Big closed book, but a closed book nevertheless.
She may even have said: "That's nice, dear," in that faintly bemused way characteristic of mothers the world over. If there isn't a printed book for her to show the neighbours, then it probably doesn't count.
Since then, things have gone from strength to strength. Well, as long as the first "strength" is "zero book sales" and the second one is "a few book sales". I'm not planning on retiring on the proceeds any day soon. Well, not unless I can give up luxuries like food and living in a house.
So I was a little flummoxed when I saw this today (click to see it full-size):
That's my book on an Amazon bestseller list, featured alongside the likes of P J O'Rourke and Dave Barry. Further down the list was Roseanne Barr. I am above Roseanne. I don't quite know what to do with this information.
OK, so this is the bestseller list for humorous essay collections available as eBooks. Let's be honest, the barriers to entry aren't exactly high. One more sale would get me into the top ten, probably.
So this is what I'm doing for the rest of March. I'm donating 25p to Comic Relief for each copy of Little Things purchased through Amazon until the end of the month. That's roughly what Amazon would pay me, once they and the US Internal Revenue Service have their cut. So I'm not making anything from this, honest.
Sorry once again for the self-promotion. But if I can get above P J O'Rourke on a bestseller list, it's a surefire sign that the world can still use a little oddness.