Independent thought

For some reason I've never quite understood, a number of people who use words like "elevator" and "sidewalk" - whilst being quite tickled at my use of "whilst" - seem to read this blog on a semi-frequent basis. Which is wonderful, if a little surprising.

And I have to admit, jolly nice chaps they all are, too. (Sorry, I appear to be channelling Hugh Grant for some reason.) But no, really, they're generally quite smashing. (I'm doing it again, aren't I?) No-one's chanted "USA! USA!", or told me I have a purdy mouth, and they've all corresponded in a controlled, measured way. They've been witty and had a fine sense of irony.

Look folks, if you're going to destroy national stereotypes so easily, I'm going to have to take off my bowler hat to you. Google Analytics tells me there's a Make Lard band stretching across the States. Look:


The darker the green, the more visitors from that state in the last month. Alabama, Montana, Texas and California appear to be doing most of the heavy lifting. Bless you all. There are, however, some areas that are still Lard-free zones.

I'm looking at you, Wyoming.

This saddens my heart. Surely there are avid blog readers in these states that have an unrealised desire to read up on some bloke banging on about his ironing board? On second thoughts, maybe not.

Anyway, happy July 4th. And to those of you who aren't currently living between sea and shining sea, happy Friday. Yes, I realise this is shameless pandering. I'll be sure to write something that requires me to spell aluminium the correct way soon.