A trio of targets

Let's have a look at these mountains then. (Yes, it's another bloody Three Peaks post. Look, it's a big thing for me. Come back next week if you're getting bored).

Ben Nevis - apparently from the Scottish Gaelic beinn nèamh-bhathais, beinn meaning 'mountain' and nèamh-bhathais meaning 'too scary for English people to pronounce'.

Ben Nevis, or simply 'the Ben', or just 'Benny Boy' to it's closest friends, is at 4,409 feet the highest peak in Britain. At this point in the post I guess I'll lose the Nepalese audience.

People carrying out the Three Peaks Challenge tend to do Ben Nevis first, mainly because being in the Scottish Highlands means it's officially a Sodding Long Way from most places. I'll be there at 5pm on Saturday and it's a ten-hour drive to get there from our starting point. Seriously, this is a small country, how can anywhere be ten hours away?

Me and the Ben have some history. I want this one.

Scafell Pike - because we like to confuse people in this country, Scafell Pike is right next door to another mountain called Sca Fell. That's just cruel.

The summit was donated to the National Trust by Lord Leconfield in 1919. Which was a surprise, because the National Trust only wanted gift vouchers.

Being the less well-known and smallest out of the three, at 3,209 feet, Scafell Pike is like the ginger step-child of the Three Peaks. But it's the hardest, many say. There's no walk-in, you're straight into steep from the beginning. Plus it's normally hellishly rainy. Look, even English people have been known to say ,"Whoa, that's a bit much" while trying to climb it. That's rainy.

4am on Sunday. I'll be there, testing my waterproofs. If I manage this one it'll be massive.

Snowdon - never called Mount Snowdon unless you want to be run out of Wales. Mind you, you can be run out of Wales for a lot of things. In Welsh, it's called Yr Wyddfa. I have no idea.

Its English name came about, apparently, because there is often snow at the summit. Someone was clearly up all night in the Mountain Naming Institute thinking that one up.

It's 3,560 feet high but tends to attract the less serious day-trippers. It's not unknown for Mountain rescue to be called out to chaps wearing shorts and sandals with a Tesco carrier bag full of Red Stripe lager, each making for the summit like a tattooed Chris Bonington.

I aim to be better slightly prepared. I'll be there early on Sunday afternoon, if minor miracles have happened earlier on. If I get to the top of this one, I think I'll run out of words.

Shameless plug approaching. If you've been suitably impressed, a few quid would be very welcome. I thank you.