Sunday, 22 November 2009

Way off target

People who work in the world of marketing like to talk, often from behind interesting rimless spectacles, about such matters as customer targeting. Find the right punter for your product, they say, and you're home and dry.

They'll probably use long words, but that's basically the trick.

However, two things happened recently that showed me that there are some marketers operating at the moment who clearly haven't got the faintest clue.

Landing with an audible thump on my doormat, the envelope certainly looked interesting. It was from a rather up-market jewellers and was addressed to me personally. Inside was a catalogue for Rolex wristwatches. Starting at £3,500 and not stopping until prices were well north of 'terraced house' territory, I was amazed at the amount of cash people were seemingly willing to strap onto their wrists. Katie was particularly interested in the ladies Oyster Perpetual - an absolute snip at a few quid shy of seventy grand.

I'm sorry, Mr Jeweller, but your efforts will come to nought. I don't move in those circles. Did you not see my address when you printed out the envelope? This is not Rolex Country.

Then this morning I got an email from Amazon. Apparently, their intelligence tells them, I'm just the sort of person who would like to purchase the Greatest Hits of Enya. What I've bought in the past that makes them believe this, I just don't know. I have nothing against Enya. I'm sure she's a lovely person. It's just that, as far as I can ascertain, she's been singing the same song for about twenty years. And it's not one that I want in my extensive CD collection.

Amazon, we can probably mark this down as a fail.

I'm sure there is a market segment of people with pricey timepieces who also have a love of remarkably bland New Age music. But I'm not in it.


Lisa Paul said...

Clearly the marketers got our addresses mixed up. I'll give you my Men's Big and Tall catalogs (I'm a woman and 5'2") and you give me Enya. No, I don't like her either, but I never met an Aesthetician or dentist who didn't have her on an endless loop. And I'm looking for a Christmas present for my dentist.

City Girl said...

"You can't blame this on marketers!" Said the indignant marketing professional, with arms akimbo and right eyebrow raised to her hairline.

You can lay the blame for Enya ::shudder:: at the feet of sensible shoe-wearing Maths.

That's right. Maths. Those recommendations are generated by algorithms. If PEOPLE were still doing this work, we would have recommended The Cure's greatest hits.


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