Thursday, 2 December 2010

Ten more questions science must answer

I know, it's only December 2. I've finished my month of daily posts, I don't really need to come back and do another one right now. I'm showing off, like one of those blokes who runs a marathon then jogs home.

But I was reading this today - ten questions science must answer. And it's OK, I suppose. I mean, knowing how the universe expands and understanding the concept of consciousness is all well and good. But I was struck that the ten questions weren't the ones I wanted answering.

So, science, have a crack at these instead:
  1. Where's my hoverboard? I know Back to the Future was fictional, but it's been twenty-odd years and you'd have thought someone would have got to grips with the whole 'standing on a piece of plastic with no visible means of support' malarkey. And don't try to soften me up with Segways.
  2. Astronomers believe that 90% of the universe's matter cannot be seen or measured. Is that what's behind my sofa?
  3. Vacuum flasks keep hot things hot and cold things cold. How do they know?
  4. James Corden appears on TV on a semi-regular basis. Why?
  5. What insane branch of mathematics is employed by minicab drivers when calculating fares? "How much do you normally pay, mate?" I don't know, pal. It's different every time. You're all Toyota-bound random number generators as far as I can tell.
  6. Seriously. My hoverboard. I'm not mucking about. Where is it?
  7. And don't even mention personal jetpacks. 
  8. Has anyone ever sold worms in cans? They must have, otherwise where do we get the phrase from? And what on earth were they thinking at the time?
  9. Do living badgers actually exist? Because I've only ever seen ex-badgers at the side of the road. I'm not convinced they're real animals. Does someone put fake corpses out overnight?
  10. Why is it always so tricky to put a list of ten items together?

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