But I was reading this today - ten questions science must answer. And it's OK, I suppose. I mean, knowing how the universe expands and understanding the concept of consciousness is all well and good. But I was struck that the ten questions weren't the ones I wanted answering.
So, science, have a crack at these instead:
- Where's my hoverboard? I know Back to the Future was fictional, but it's been twenty-odd years and you'd have thought someone would have got to grips with the whole 'standing on a piece of plastic with no visible means of support' malarkey. And don't try to soften me up with Segways.
- Astronomers believe that 90% of the universe's matter cannot be seen or measured. Is that what's behind my sofa?
- Vacuum flasks keep hot things hot and cold things cold. How do they know?
- James Corden appears on TV on a semi-regular basis. Why?
- What insane branch of mathematics is employed by minicab drivers when calculating fares? "How much do you normally pay, mate?" I don't know, pal. It's different every time. You're all Toyota-bound random number generators as far as I can tell.
- Seriously. My hoverboard. I'm not mucking about. Where is it?
- And don't even mention personal jetpacks.
- Has anyone ever sold worms in cans? They must have, otherwise where do we get the phrase from? And what on earth were they thinking at the time?
- Do living badgers actually exist? Because I've only ever seen ex-badgers at the side of the road. I'm not convinced they're real animals. Does someone put fake corpses out overnight?
- Why is it always so tricky to put a list of ten items together?