Tuesday, 23 October 2007

What bit of "no" don't you understand?

///RING///RING///RING///RI ...click


"Hello, is that Mr S*****?"

"Yes, it is, who's calling?"

"My name is Baobab McAntelope and I'm calling from VirginMedia."

"Oh yes?"

"You have your landline and broadband internet with us, and..."

"Yes I do. Do you mind me asking what you're calling about?"

"It's OK, Mr S*****, there's nothing wrong with your account. It's just that I noticed you'd registered this phone number with the Telephone Preference Service."

"That's right. I have. Because I've opted out of receiving telemarketing calls."

"Yes, I understand that, Mr S*****. I was just ringing you to check whether that applied to us. As your internet service and telecoms provider I thought you might like us to be able to call you with offers of interest."

"You don't understand the concept of "opting out", do you?"

"I'm sorry, Mr S*****?"

"I've decided I don't want to receive telemarketing calls. No calls. Not one. It doesn't matter that I've got stuff with you. It doesn't matter how good your stuff may or may not be. I don't care how well-designed your logo might be. It's not relevant if I sometimes harbour the desire to have carnal relations with the girl in your advert. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Receive. Your. Calls."

"Shall we put you down as "Do not contact," then, Mr S*****?"

"That'd be peachy."



Anonymous said...


We have a winner, folks!

Tell them what they've won!

Why they've won a boot in the ass!

*audience cheers*

Tom said...

Baobab, oh Baobab...
I don't think he saw it as a telemarketing call so much as it was an offer that a friend wouldn't let another friend pass up.
See, he was offering friendship and you coldheartedly turned him away.


How do you live with yourself?!

On the other hand... It could be that he had a reading deficit and you just humiliated him by directing attention at it. I'm sure his self esteem is at an all time low at this point.

Or maybe he's just an idiot

trine said...

i love telling people who call i am registered with the TPS and that if they ever call again, I will rapport them and make sure they get fined. that usually means they hang up pretty fast :)


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