"Hello, is that Mr S*****?"
"Yes, it is, who's calling?"
"My name is Baobab McAntelope and I'm calling from VirginMedia."
"You have your landline and broadband internet with us, and..."
"Yes I do. Do you mind me asking what you're calling about?"
"It's OK, Mr S*****, there's nothing wrong with your account. It's just that I noticed you'd registered this phone number with the Telephone Preference Service."
"That's right. I have. Because I've opted out of receiving telemarketing calls."
"Yes, I understand that, Mr S*****. I was just ringing you to check whether that applied to us. As your internet service and telecoms provider I thought you might like us to be able to call you with offers of interest."
"You don't understand the concept of "opting out", do you?"
"I'm sorry, Mr S*****?"
"I've decided I don't want to receive telemarketing calls. No calls. Not one. It doesn't matter that I've got stuff with you. It doesn't matter how good your stuff may or may not be. I don't care how well-designed your logo might be. It's not relevant if I sometimes harbour the desire to have carnal relations with the girl in your advert. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Receive. Your. Calls."
"Shall we put you down as "Do not contact," then, Mr S*****?"
"That'd be peachy."