Thursday, 7 February 2008

Get lent

It's Lent. And I'd forgotten about it. I'll have to ask my mother to light an additional candle for me, otherwise I'll get another sharply-worded note from the Pope. (And this current one's a stickler - by all accounts you don't want to get on the wrong side of Benny 16).

So I'd better list a few things I'll be giving up for the next few weeks.

Shouting at the TV. In fairness, I don't do this too often. For instance, when Dr Gillian McKeith comes on screen I normally leave the room. But those Halifax Bank adverts are great for shouting at. This might be quite a toughy.

Speaking in Portuguese. It's an ancient, noble language. But abstinence is what Lent is all about, so I'll have to give it a miss until Easter. The fact that I don't actually know any Portuguese means that technically this isn't really much of a sacrifice, but one has to start somewhere. Pesaroso decepcioná-lo!

Saying "have a conversation with" when "talk" will suffice. No, really. It's beginning to irritate me. "We'll need to have a conversation with them about that." "I was having a conversation with Rachel about that project." No. No. NO. I don't know where it's come from. But it must stop right now.

Reading Daily Mail online news stories to laugh at other people's opinions. I swear, it's like a human zoo sometimes. It's a guilty pleasure of mine - some of the correspondents would be out of their depth in a puddle.

Eating broccoli. See "Speaking in Portuguese" to get the general gist of this none.

Singing "doo dooo, dee doo doo" whenever someone uses the word "phenomenon". This might be quite tricky.


Tom said...

I love the title!!

I give up the same thing every year and since I CAN'T give up meat of any kind, I have decided to give up Catholicism. It makes a paradox really, since, by giving up Catholicism I will technically not be required to observe Lent, and since I'm not Catholic, I really didn't have to observe it anyway...

That's where it all gets muddled. I'll figure it out some year, but until then, I'll keep doing what works.

Tom said...

I do dislike the strongly worded letters from the Pope though. Benny can put quite a bite into the printed word!

City Girl said...

And City Girl makes three good Papists.

This year's sacrifice: Red meat and fowl - every day, not just Fridays and Ash Wednesday. Also, and THIS is tough, I am abstaining from engaging in conversations about other people. Like gossip. I don't start much gossip-y conversation, but I find myself on the receiving - and subsequently participating - end of them all the time. It's horrifying.

Could not EVER give up yelling at the teevee. The Hubster would have an instant conversion if the Lenten season was responsible for my no longer conversing with or hollering at the characters on television.

Wait. That sounds like a blog post.
Thanks, Fab Boy!

PS - Pope Ratz scares the crap out of me. Very much missing JPII. :o(

fatboyfat said...

Jolly good - it seems we're all left-footers together, some more lapsed than others. A few days in and I have so far resisted temptation.

Although my boss used the word "phenomenon" today and I had to bite my tongue.

Tom said...

Okay, now you've done it.

You now have to explain "left-footers". I have absolutely no clue what that means. I also don't think that the Pope-meister isn't gonna be big on the whole relenquishing of Papism thing.

But good for you resisting phenomenon references!

robin said...

I thought about giving up complaining, but it brings me so much joy... I normally give up all junk food of any kind (including the drink), but this year I just said bah to the whole deal when I cracked open a cold one on Ash Wednesday and didn't even go to church.

fatboyfat said...

tom: in this context, 'left-footer' is another phrase for 'Catholic'.

However, it is a phrase fraught with danger. In some completely different circumstances it refers to gentlemen who are, erm, how can I put this, rather good with colours.


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