Today is Guy Fawkes Day in the UK. Elsewhere, I guess it's just Day.
On 5th November we celebrate the discovery of a failed plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament in 1605. If that seems like an odd thing to be doing, some 400-odd years after the event, then you really haven't got to grips with the peculiarities of British history.
But it is a little unusual to be marking the anniversary of what was, essentially, a failed terrorist attack. Especially as we use tons of high explosives for the purpose. However, if we're relaxed about celebrating such events, perhaps we need to extend the franchise a little bit. Because let's face it, if we don't want to be terrorised, we don't have to be. Taking the piss is often the best option:
Belt Buckle Day
In honour of airport security operatives the world over, on this day leave your belt buckles at home and shuffle along praying you don't suffer a wardrobe malfunction of the worst kind. Watch the eyes of the kids light up as Grandma is subjected to a rough body-search by taciturn people in peaked caps.
John Smeaton Night
In remembrance of the 2007 Glasgow Airport attack, people up and down the country are to be smacked around the face by angry Scottish blokes. Actually, that probably counts as a normal Saturday night in some town centres.
The Burning Shoe Festival
Set light to your footwear with gay abandon, folks. Because nothing says, "Member of a shadowy organisation destined to bring terror to the travelling public" any better than the smell of a scorched pair of Nike Air High.
Send a Printer Ink Cartridge to a Complete Stranger Week
I think the clue's in the title with this one.