Tuesday, 6 November 2007

One out, all out

"...and the Health Secretary advised the public that the discolouration was harmless and temporary."

"Hello. It's the top of the hour. I'm Todd Badger and this is On the Ground News. In our main story today, the National Blog Writers strike entered its third successive day today, with all parties keen to stress that they were in no mood to back down. And with no-one seemingly in the mood for reconciliation, the impact of this unprecedented industrial action is beginning to make itself felt.

"We cross now to our correspondent on the scene, Matt Bianco. Matt?"

//THUMPA//THUMPA//THUMPA//THUMPA//

"Thanks, Todd, I'm here in..."
"Matt, are you hitting yourself rapidly in the chest, or something?"

//THUMPA//THUMPA//THUMPA//THU..

"Erm. Yes, Todd. You see, I'm supposed to be in a helicopter, and.."
"We don't have a helicopter, Matt. You drive a Volkswagen."
"Look, throw me a flippin' bone, will you? All my journalism college friends work for CNN, and.."
"OK, OK. I'm sorry, go ahead, Matt."
"Thanks, Toddy. I'm surveying the scene here as the Blog Writers' Strike of 2007 takes a hold. And it's a sight to behold, I can tell you. Already, Blogger and LiveJournal are stockpiling blog posts."
"Matt, how long can they hold out for?"
"Good question, Todd. We think that unless the Blog Writers return to their keyboards before the weekend, we'll all be forced to have old blog posts re-issued."
"Say it isn't so..."
"I'm afraid so, Todd. We're already bracing ourselves for a slew of posts about "Why I blog", there are unconfirmed rumours of old "Look at what my dog/child/husband did" video posts making a somewhat unwelcome revisit. And then there's the Doomsday scenario of all those LOLcat posts coming back to haunt us again. Back to you in the studio, Todd."
"Thanks Matt. Worrying times indeed. I'm joined now, on a live link-up, by the de-facto head of the striking Blog Writers, Muriel Voletrouser. Ms Voletrouser?"
"Hullo."
"Clearly this industrial action is going to have wide-ranging and terrifying effects. With that in mind, what do you have to say to your blog readers?"
"Those of us at Bloggers Uniting to Gain Ground in Every Region..."
"B.U.G.G.E.R?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry, carry on."
"We at B.U.G.G.E.R. are determined. For too long we've laboured in poor conditions, pouring out our hearts and souls, often without getting a single comment in return. Some of us want to earn the money the Internet promises. Some of us want our writing to be loved. Some of us want to be recognised. And now we're being forced to write a post every day for the month of November, without a single day off. I'm not some farm animal, Todd."
"Erm, no, we can see..."
"What do we want? Quite a few things. When do we want it? Whenever you can manage, if it's not too much trouble...."
"Thank you. And now the weather..."

7 comments:

Kate said...

Fabulous!!!

City Girl said...

:: laugh ::

Very clever!

Tom said...

See, it's already happening and if it gets worse, there will the dreaded posts about "What I had for lunch", we won't have any recourse. Like it or not, there will be "What's on my iPod" posts. Pay attention people! We're serious about this.

Although, I may be some sort of farm animal. The jury's still out on that one.

Dory said...

*standing ovation*

Unfortunately, I can't take any more time to come up with something witty because I haven't blogged yet today! It's going to be dumb, though, I promise.

Le laquet said...

thanks - gave me a really good laugh!

Too_Lively said...

I loved it! :D

fatboyfat said...

You are all too kind. I suspect, however, that I have peaked for the month of November.

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