Oh no not again - year four

As the year winds wearily through to month 11, there is one tradition that we must remember to observe.

Halloween.  No, hang on, that's not it.

Bonfire Night.  No.  No, wait a minute, I've got this, I know what I'm doing.

NaBloPoMo!  Bless you*.

Yes, it's time for me to bore the living bejeesus out of thrill and delight my many readers as I embark upon the challenge of writing and publishing a brand new post every day for the entire month of November.

I've done this in 2007, 2008 and 2009.  It's now 2010. (Using this method of progression, I reckon I could predict what the year will be in up to, ooh, about seven years or so.)  So, once more, we're about to see whether the whole quality vs quantity thing holds any water.

Of course, I could use this as an excuse for the relatively low frequency of updates on here over the last few weeks.  Of course!  I've been saving up all the good stuff, haven't I?

Just hold onto that thought, people.

*(Fourth year running for that gag.  It's the gift that keeps on giving, I tell you.)

The madness continues

NaBloPoMo!

Bless you!

That's now three years running I've made the same gag. It's almost a Heritage Joke. I'm sorry.

For those of you who don't know, NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. The Nation in question is the US, I think, but Blogs, Posting and Months are concepts that transfer quite well across the Atlantic so I think we can safely proceed on that basis.

The idea of NaBloPoMo was originally that bloggers would commit to writing on their blogs once a day for the whole of the month of November. Sounds easy, doesn't it? But it's not. It really isn't.

This will be the third year that I've taken part. And I'm more than a little concerned about the whole thing.

You see, one of the beauties of having a blog is the freedom to not update it every now and then. Those nights when the laptop stays unopened. When, quite frankly, you've spent enough time at work with qwerty and his friends, and you're buggered if you're going to do it - unpaid - in the evening. But NaBloPoMo forces you to put that aside. The physical act of writing is one thing, but I do myself no favours because I do insist on having something tangible on the blog, so I can't really get away with putting any old tut on here in November. I have to think about it.

In my first year of NaBloPoMo I was fresh-faced and new to the idea. I blundered through the whole thing like Bambi on ice. Year two saw me doing some serious preparation. I had a whole bunch of things thought out beforehand.

Year three sees me seriously banjaxed. I have nothing. But. But. I've neglected this blog for much of 2009. It's the end of November and I've only done about two posts a week for the year to date. This will not stand.

So, good reader, would you like to sit back and see what November has to bring? I'm not making any promises. It could get messy. But hopefully both of us will get something out of it.

Never mind the width, feel the quality

Well, that's that, then. Quite reasonable in fact - no need to see a solicitor after all.

For the second year running, I have survived the post-every-day-a-thon that is NaBloPoMo. Of course, the sense of achievement was lessened somewhat when I realised that this event was evolved from NaNoWriMo, when otherwise sane people opt to write a 50,000-word novel in the space of a month.

For a moment I thought: 'Hmm, that's not beyond the realms of possibility..."

What's that you say? Did I go off and do something stupid like perform a word count on my November blog posts? Well, that would be a daft and pointless exercise, wouldn't it? What good could possibly come of such an endeavour?

11,197 words. Seriously. And I thought I was a wordy bugger. But it's a mere foothill - a molehill, if you like - plonked next-door to the Himalayas created by some of these novel writers. Mind you, if I'd written 50,000 words over the month in my usual style I'd probably have alienated you all. Plus Katie would be no longer talking to me and I'd have the word "Acer" permanently imprinted on my upper thighs from this overheating laptop.

Which is not a good look.

So what have we all learned from this month of material, these weeks of writing?

We now know that there is an internationally-recognised uniform for bloggers. The name of the long-lost Village People disco/progressive rock crossover album is no longer a mystery. And there's been some of the latest guidelines for modern management, alongside biting political commentary. Most of all, we learned that writing something aimed at an American audience, but posting it on Thanksgiving Day (when, let's face it, they have better things to do), was guaranteed to be as successful as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

It barely seems like only a couple of weeks since we read the moving stories behind the real victims of the economic crisis. We ranted at clueless journalists and pretentious restaurateurs alike. What fun!

Of course, I've been in a sharing mood, too. How else would you know about my one big weakness? Or my hippie past? Or even the reason why I never seem to be able to show up on time? It's enough to make someone adopt an alter ego.

So what can you expect from tomorrow onwards? Well, I know that some blog-writers have decided to extend this exercise and will post something every day for a year. I can't commit to this (I've got a screenplay to write, don't you know) but I plan to keep things nice and regular here, too. For one thing, there's the Small Mercies thing which looks like developing into a series. Well, it amuses me, anyway. Plus I can see that I've picked up some new readers. Hello you. Please stay - your validation of my existence is way cheaper than any therapy.

For now, though, I have the Sunday papers and my sofa. And they're calling my name. No, really, I can hear them. Perhaps I should reconsider the therapy thing.

Oh no, not again

As the email thudded into my inbox, with all the alacrity of a Steinway falling from the fifth floor, my heart began to sink. "Surely it's not that time of the year again?" I asked aloud.

Katie, reclining on the other sofa, Tanqueray & tonic in hand, raised a quizzical eyebrow as I allowed the full gravity of the situation to sink in. And wash over me.

If gravity can wash, that is.

"Ohgodohgodohgod....."

"Problem?" she asked, not breaking away from her latest edition of Cake Weekly.

"You do know what next month is, don't you?"

"Um. November?"

"Well, yes, November. But it's more than that. You see, I've just had this email reminder. A blast from the past, you might say. And..."

"Well?"

"Do you remember what happened last November?"

"At a guess, fireworks, chilblains and retail devastation in advance of Christmas..."

"NaBloPoMo!"

"Bless you."

"Thanks, but I tried that gag last year, too. It's National Blog Posting Month. You remember?"

She sat up: "Oh, hang on, it's all coming back to me now, like a three-day-old Biryani. You have to write one blog post per day for the whole month of November. It's a law. Or something."

"Well, more of a challenge. And thanks for the Biryani thing - that's a really unpleasant image. Anyway, I'm worried about it."

"Because recently you've let things slide, making do with eight or nine posts per month?"

"Exactly."

"And now you're going to have to get your finger out and write something new every day?"

"Yes..."

"Hang on minute," she said, putting down her magazine, "are we actually having this conversation just now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Or is this a simply a narrative device you're going to use; to introduce NaBloPoMo to your readers, explain what it is, that you're going to try and do a post-per-day next month and how you're crapping yourself at the idea?"

"The very thought..."

Demob happy

So. That's that, then. Here we are, at the end of November. Those of you who've been paying attention (you have been keeping up, haven't you?) will have noticed an unusual regularity in the posts on here. One per day, every day, for the whole month; that's how NaBloPoMo rolls.

I'll admit - the thought of adopting the discipline of writing something meaningful every day for a whole month was a bit daunting to me 30 days ago. There's the issue of thinking of things to write - I was convinced that was going to cause me a headache. However I've not needed to spend too much time staring blankly at a screen (I reserve the hours between 9 and 5, Monday to Friday for that). I actually wrote down about 20 topic ideas at the start of the month, and looking at my list now, I've still got half-a-dozen left.

That might be because they're crap, mind you.

I've enjoyed the process of coming up with ridiculous situations and riffing off these; skinny-dipping squirrels, striking bloggers and intergalactic political correctness, for instance. Well, they made me laugh, anyway. But it's been nice to be able to intersperse these with random stuff that I've seen and done in real life, too.

But this all still takes time and has to be planned around real life, and that's been quite a challenge. However, I'm humbled by some of the other NaBloPoMo participants, who've still posted every day despite such distractions as kids, organising family weddings, college work and serious back surgery. And, for the US-based bloggers there was Thanksgiving, which would appear to be the Mother Of All Celebrations with a high potential for collateral damage. I'm a wuss by comparison.

Will I continue? Yes I will. People are looking at this, whether that's more out of a morbid fascination I don't know. But you're there - a number of you are even commenting. Blimey. Quite frankly, it all blows my mind. I thank you.

Maybe I'll not post every day - certainly not for the next couple of days at least. But please stick around. Or subscribe, if you're that way inclined. Hopefully the madness can continue. Not having to post everyday might do something positive to the quality:quantity ratio.

But having spent too much time with my laptop, and not enough with my wife, we are off to Leamington, pretty much the moment I hit the "Publish Post" button. We're going to eat very nice food. There may be wine involved. And we'll communicate without the use of "Comment" buttons.

See you all in perhaps more than one day's time.

An even greener world

Bless you, New Zealand. Since I begged shamelessly earlier this month, you have now rocketed up the league table of countries from where people have viewed this blog. So now I've confused a whole bunch of people 13,000 miles away.

It's a scary thought.

In with a bullet with 5 visits in recent days gives your land a nice green hue. Look!


For this we must thank the efforts of Jo at Chez le Laquet. She is my blog pimp. Bless.

(ps - this isn't my official daily post for NaBloPoMo. That would be cheating, I think. Stay where you are, a conventional one will be along for today, at some point. If I can think of something to write, that is. Otherwise I will drop any semblance of morality on this point.)

Can I keep it up? You decide.

NaBloPoMo!

Bless you. I know, I felt the same when I first saw that rather random selection of letters. But there is some sense there. It stands for National Blog Posting Month. The basic idea is that for the month of November you commit to write and publish one blog posting. Every single day. Without fail.

Sounds simple, doesn't it? But bear in mind that since I started this, I have written:

• June - 2 posts
• July - 15 posts
• August - 12 posts
• September - 16 posts
• October - 13 posts (so far).
  

So the thing is, I don't know if I want to commit to this. I think it might be a good discipline, having to think of something every day to write about. I did worry that the quality levels might fall. But then I looked back at the stuff I'd posted beforehand, and realised I was in quite a low place to begin with. And I don't mean the Dead Sea.

I tend to write and post in the evenings. And I know already that there are some evenings coming up in November when sitting on my sofa with an overheating laptop is the last thing I'm going to be able to do. So how I would be able to do this, I don't know. Especially as my boss reads this, so any posts with a time stamp that corresponds to "you should be doing some work right now you cheeky get", might cause some dodgy moments.

But.

It might be fun to try. Imagine having to think something up every day and write something meaningful about it.

It'll be a challenge. I'm not doing the sponsored weight loss thing any more. Perhaps I need something else to concentrate the mind?

It'll give you, dear reader, a reason to come back here every day. Don't worry if today's post is crap - tomorrow's might be pure gold. Well, we live in hope.

But most importantly. I might win some jam.

What do you think?